Furniture as far as the eye can see! Danish modern! Faux antique! Simulated wood! Real wood! Over here everything looks like it came from a 50's diner! Everything I could ever want from a room, and all these other terrible or boring solutions for living are spread out for the picking on a massive warehouse floor. It must cost millions just to keep it 67 degrees and well lit. There's a giant teak canopy bed right next to a first apartment futon, and kitchen island that can be turned into a bar! Is that a chandelier made of giant paperclips? I want to furnish my entire apartment in this one collection over here. Excuse me! Do you deliver? Because I want to throw out all my furniture and replace it with this stuff. Why do you need to talk to a manager? Just standard procedure? Okay. I'll just be over here figure out how I want to arrange everything.
Hello! So you're the manager? Quite a wonderful store you have here. What? You've been waiting for someone to by the entire set so you can give it to them for free, take before and after photographs, and use it as an ad? Of course! When can we start? This weekend is great! See you then!
Oh that was just cruel.
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