Here's a lamp. I made it for you.
You took an old plastic camera, shoved a lightbulb in the flash, put it on the table, and called it a lamp?
Uh, yeah. I had you especially in mind when I made it, so I wanted you to have it.
Okay, first of all, it doesn't even have a lampshade.
You need to grow out of 20th century definitions. You're only holding yourself back by refusing to stare into the raw compact fluorescent light.
I think I'm saving my eyes.
Whatever, you wouldn't understand art if it kissed you right on the eye.
...What?


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